I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
