Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize