he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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