I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
