if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
