Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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