Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
