The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
