Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
