I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
