I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
