it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
