Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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