escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize