I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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