I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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