im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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