everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
