dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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