not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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