my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
ttyl tear gas
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
