they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
