i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
