The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
