none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
