My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize