I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
