So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
