I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
