last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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