im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
