i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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