Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
