I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
