i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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