I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
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