It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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