I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
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