you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
