My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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