"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Someone signed my nipple.
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