I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
