I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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