You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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