Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
