We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
