u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Girls should come with a carfax report
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
