I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
