I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I have fence marks all over my body
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
