i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
