she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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