Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
