mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize