weddingsv make me drug and hornr
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
